So here is my first blog post of my new adventure. (sidenote: I think I need a name for the adventure. Crochet Around the World? 3C's for a Cause? This Broke Ass Motherf'er that Thinks the World is for Everyone? Haha. I'm sure something will come eventually but Billy's Crochet World I think encompasses it all because that's the world I want to live in for the rest of my life.)
There is one question I have been asking the Universe lately, "can you give me a sign that I am on the right path?" I have stopped asking for anything because what I have realized is that the Universe really does give you everything you ask for, the problem is that it won't tell you how we are getting there. For example, many years ago I asked to move to the West Coast. Many years later I got that wish granted, but the process of how I got here was partly a shitty one. Hence why I just have to trust that everything is happening how it should be, but I figured if it could at least give me some sort of signs along the way, then that'd be dope!
The week leading up to the day I left LA, my mom's cousin Herbert was on my mind a lot. I don't believe I ever met him, or if I did I was a baby so I was wondering why he was on my mind. The story with him -- he disappeared and no one really knows what happened. To this day the family seems to have their head wrapped around the fact that he may be dead, but a part of all of us hopes that he is still alive and we will be able to see him some day. Without even telling my mom that he was on my mind, she posted this on her page:
Translation: Wow! Dreaming with my cousin Herbert is priceless. That hug he gave me, I woke up with my eyes watered. In the dream I asked him if he thought about us, the family, and he told me, "I think about you all the time and that is why I am always watching over all of you"
Disappeared so many years ago.. all my life I will miss you Herbert. How much I would love for you to give me that hug in real life. I never lose the hope that one day you will appear
My reaction to that post was, "THANK YOU!" I still haven't told my mom he was on my mind and this will be the first time she reads it. I already have her blessing on this journey, but maybe this will help her further understand that what I am trying to accomplish is bigger than me.
The next two signs came within 3 hours of arriving to San Diego. The first one was when Google Maps suggested I take one route to get to my first Couchsurfing host, but at one point I was like nah, I'll take this street instead. A couple blocks later I see this:
For you that is just a street sign, a green light, and a walk sign. For me, 500 Beech St is the address of my high school, one of the last times you feel like anything is possible. The green light and walk sign? Keep going.
Finally, I got to my host and once I was a block away, I realized the address of the host was Essex St. Again, for you, possibly just another street. For me, it is the intersecting street of my grandparent's house, the place I always feel safe no matter what is going on in the world.
I have no idea what is waiting on the other side of this, but I do know two things:
1) One of my final days in LA I sat on the metro and looked up at the clock, it said 9:17pm. I just stared, tried to focus so hard for it to stop, but 9:18pm still came. So the first thing I know is that I cannot change the past, the present is the only thing I have control over, and the future is coming regardless. Try that simple exercise yourself. That night, 9:17pm already passed and I will never be able to do anything to change it, 9:18pm was happening right now, but if I all I kept was worrying about 9:19pm, then I have spent the 60 seconds 9:18pm gave me on worrying about 9:19pm.
2) I also know that everything that has been created beyond the elements has been created by humans like you and me. A friend told me (as I was going off on how I no longer want to live this life of being slave to money) that they cannot make me accept the realities of the world, I will have to do that on my own. The thing is I did accept the realities of the world and the reality is that this idea of money, this idea of "the job", the standards, customs.... all created by humans.
So if those are the two things I know, I have a choice... I can either be the human that keeps feeding into the current system, knowing from past experiences that it is a shitty one, but still hoping for a better future. Or I can be the other human, that sees another way, and decides to do something different in the present. The fact remains that I do not know the future, but the beauty of it all is that no one does.
I hope that you are interested and decide to get involved! Go to "Get Involved" tab to see the many different ways you can do so. And if you are currently in San Diego, would love to catch up / wanna host me? :)